004: I Have Always Loved You

Anna Evelyn: Yesterday was a better day for grandma. She walked more with her walker (she is no quitter), she drank more Ensure (we have to supplement the fact that she isn't eating much), she seemed more focused with us and, what I am most happy about, she started reading again. She was in the middle of a novel and started reading it again. 


She has started coughing so we are giving her cough syrup (which she hates but we use Ensure as a chaser to we get more of it in her :-) But other than the cough she is slowly but surely improving.


After dinner, my mom, my niece Rachel and I got grandma ready for bed. We tucked her in then Rachel and I got in bed with her to cuddle then the pups jumped in (my Maltese and my mom's Schnauzer). Grandma was smiling widely. My mom was laughing from a chair near her bed. Then my bother C came to say good night and we all kissed her and promised we'd take the ruckus out and let her rest. It was about 9:30pm. 


Mom looked much better today too. As the care giver, she has a lot to deal with but today we were all happy for the "good" day. We are taking everything one moment at a time and feel blessed that things are improving. As the days pass I also feel so lucky to be part of this family. I am proud of my niece for being such a compassionate and loving teenager, for my brothers (I have two, one lives here and the other in DC) that are open to giving their love and tenderness and of course to my mom who raised us all with an infinite amount of unconditional love. Yesterday was a good day indeed...


Seeing that all was quiet and good, I got ready to leave but snuck back into grandma's room to say, "buenas noches, que sueñes con los angelitos" - "good night, sleep with the angels" (she used to say that to us when we would go to sleep, even as an adults). To my surprise she was awake. I got real close and said my good night and that I love her. Grandma turned her head to me and said, "Yo te he amado siempre" - "I have always loved you".  My heart melted and I felt blessed for the moment. 

003: The Road to Recovery

Anna Evelyn: Grandma is slowly recovering and although she is definitely happier at home, something has changed...


Yesterday we had a family dinner at my moms and grandma was not as engaged as she usually is and was just so tired. When I got to moms she was resting in bed and told me that she was going to get better and start crocheting again. She would make all of us something to decorate our tables with. Just that one sentence seemed to tire her out. I stayed with her a few minutes despite her insisting I go join everyone else. 


Later my aunt RA (who had stayed with my mom for 3 days to help settle grandma back in the house) convinced her to come out for dessert. She came to the table and had a little to eat but again was distant. She did seem to enjoy her latest great-grandchild, Ariana who is 5-months, who was dancing on the lap of one of her other great-grandchildren, Rachel, who is 14 years old. 

Taken June 24, 2012: Grandma with Ariana.

My grandma and our family have received so much love and support throughout grandma's stroke, it is humbling... 


Last night was a dinner for 8 then we had 3 friends of my mom stop by to say hi. Grandma was gracious despite her lack of energy. She sat with her visitors for a few minutes and thanked them for visiting as well as for their prayers. She got emotional saying she was so grateful for everyone's support. She assured them that with God's help she would get better soon. Then she looked really exhausted so we took her to her room to lie down. 


Once everyone had gone she had to get ready for bed so we took advantage of that moment and asked if she wanted to come out and sit for a little bit. She sat with my brother C and Rachel and said she was dying. We assured her she wasn't and that she was home, that we loved her and everything would be ok. 


Then my aunt F from New Orleans called that there was a children's show on the Spanish channel that she loved so we put it on and she watched it. My mom sat next to her and she asked her 'are you comfortable'? She engaged and watched the whole show. I think that was a breakthrough...


Yesterday I struggled on whether to keep writing this blog about grandma. I thought she'd be back to 'normal' by now. That she'd be giving me all her sassy advice on life but she is not really engaging... yet.


But I have decided to continue because I am hopeful she will get better. And I felt that stopping would be giving up on her. She told me she just wants to be like she was before this stroke and I reminded her that every stroke makes it's imprint and there was always an uphill battle to recover and she always managed to tackle it. She gave a half-hearted smile - I'll take it! 

002: The Will to Live, Love & Prayer

Grandma came home yesterday, after 11 days of being in the hospital then 3 days of being in a nursing home (mainly for observation as she transitioned into hospice care). It was a pretty terrifying journey for her and for us that love her.

On June 8th she was admitted into the hospital with high blood pressure and a little dehydration (nothing new...). A day and a half later "something" happened to her at 2am on Sunday, June 10th. I am still not sure what it was but I think it was a stroke of some sort. The countless doctors and tests that were done on her were painful to watch.

Initially, no one could wake her. We had no response from her for a day and a half but we were convinced that she could still hear us. Those of us that live in S. Florida spoke with her and touched her and my niece and I would take turns napping with her in her hospital bed so that she felt someone nearby. We would tell her who was calling to wish her well, about flowers that were being delivered, about prayer chains that had been started (locally, in New Orleans, New York, Italy, Columbia, Haiti and in her home country of El Salvador) and reassuring her that we would be there by her side.

By Monday afternoon my brother E (who flew in from DC) went to see her. She and my brother share a mischievous nature and she had recently been asking when he was coming to visit. He sat next to her bed, spoke to her, joked with her, held her hand and kissed her head. As he was talking to her, her eyes shuttered open, barely but we'd made a connection. Over the next couple of hours she opened her eyes and although they made no specific eye contact it was an improvement from her "sleeping" state and we were elated. That evening my Aunt F arrived (flew in from New Orleans where most of our family lives) and she also spoke with her, doted on her and grandma started tearing. Another break though - an emotional reaction...

In the early hours of Tuesday two more aunts (RM and E) and two of my cousins arrived from New Orleans. They too spoke to grandma, caressed her arms, kissed her and let her know they were there and that many people were wishing her a speedy recovery and praying for her. Later that day another breakthrough, she started making brief eye contact and was starting to respond to comments and questions. She had a very hard time speaking and swallowing but she was slowly coming back. This was the beginning of an extremely emotional roller coaster for all of us, especially grandma who until a few days ago was an active centenarian. She would cry (then we would cry), she kept saying she was going to die but that she didn't want to die, that she was scared. The days passed with a code being called (but cancelled due to the DNR), with grandma crying and unable to communicate well, with grandma becoming aware that she was not in control of her body anymore, with final good byes, with last rites (first time she had every received last rites) and with blessings and thanks from grandma to all of us....  

Then came more tough decisions... On the first day that grandma went to the hospital  (and her previous visits too) she signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate). She did not want to be kept alive artificially or with machines. As the days moved on and her condition remained critical, her daughters (all five) agreed to home-hospice care. Grandma always wanted to die at home (preferably in her sleep and certainly without pain). Hospice care allows people to die naturally, with dignity and in our case with a loving family. Just being faced with hospice was such a tough realization. Grandma was critical and we knew that she would not want to be prodded and poked through her last day. We witnessed the pain in her face as blood was taken or she was moved for x-rays or cat scans, the testing seemed endless and most often pointless.

With all the paperwork signed, grandma left the hospital. She was moved to a nursing home (appalling to us all - we had a very bad perception of nursing homes - but it was the only hospice facility available near my mom's house - my mom is her guardian). She went there for observation and while we cleared her room for the hospice equipment needed. By this time, Grandma was communicating and slowly recovering (she was acutely aware of her condition and surroundings). The next morning when I saw her she told me "I'm not crazy, why am I in an asylum?", We assured her that it wasn't an asylum and that she was there for a few days and would be going home soon - she didn't believe us. I took her around the facility in her wheel chair, she would stretch her neck to catch a glimpse of people's rooms then we went past the activity room and I sped by. Then I reminded myself that grandma is a pretty tough cookie. I asked her if she wanted to go check out the activity room and she said yes. It had about 8 or so elderly people, some seemed to be asleep, some looked at her and one had a baby doll in her arms. Grandma wanted no part and told me to take her back to her room. 

The nursing staff was incredible, they bathed and dressed her in clothes - no hospital robes during the day (cleanliness and appearance are very important to my grandma), they allowed grandma to be independent but also knew when she needed help. They even allowed us to bring our small dogs to spend time with grandma (my mom's Schnauzer and my Maltese were able to visit). She had a routine and was more active (sitting, moving around in the wheelchair, going to the little garden for fresh air and being taken to a real bathroom (no more bed pans or commodes - she hated those).

Yesterday when she realized she was being taken home she cried. She hadn't cried since she'd gotten to the nursing home (not in front of me), she had told me that she had no more tears left but the emotion of going home made her cry. She has always been scared of dying in a hospital (and I guess, recently, of dying in an "asylum") and now she was going home. I was waiting for her at my mom's house. She was brought in by the paramedics and immediately started to cry again saying she never thought she'd be back home. It was such a wonderful moment; we (her will to live and all the love and prayers) had brought her home.

She was gently put in a wheelchair by the paramedics as she cried. We took her to see her "remodeled" room and then to the dining room for tea and cookies (her sweet tooth is definitely back). Thankfully she did not have any loss of movement in her body. We  are focused on getting her energy back but she wants to focus on using her legs :-) And we are all going to church to thank God, St. Jude, St Francis and the countless other saints we prayed to. She also wants to write thank you cards to everyone (she's definitely coming back :-)

Anna Evelyn: Having seen grandma go through this critical episode, I realized that she still has so much to say and express. I hope to capture her thoughts and I pray that she stays  a bit longer :-)

001: My Name is...

Taken Nov 25, 2010 at my granddaughter's house.

Well, technically... my name is Ana Maria Chavez de Henriquez. I was born on January 4, 1911 in Sonsonate, El Salvador. But I never liked "Ana Maria" so have always been known as "Rosa Maria". And regarding my birthday... well isn't January 1st a much more exciting birthdate?

I am a widow and have five daughters, 14 grand children and 12 great grand children. My co-blogger is my granddaughter, Anna Evelyn (she blogs inconsistently under What I Think Is Beautiful), she was my first grand daughter and dotes on me (as most of my grand and great grand children do :-). In the tradition of family name changes, she is actually Ana but preferred two Ns so has been Anna since she was a teenager - which was awhile ago but shhhhh :-)

I am 101 years old so who knows how long I will be here so please join me in my beautiful centenarian chapter of life...

Anna Evelyn: So, all of my life I have thought grandma's birthday was on January 1st... within the last year, I was admitting her to the hospital and while my mom arrived I had to check her in. I looked pretty silly as the granddaughter not knowing her real name or real birth date! And with grandma there she kept insisting on "Rosa Maria" and 1-1-1911 as her birth date, I finally called my mom who said try Ana Maria and Jan 4, 1911... my grandma, always full of surprises!